I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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