i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
