Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
