Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
