she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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