That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Terrible idea I love it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
