Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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