i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
only if we run a train.
done.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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