I showed him my bush... on skype.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
as a side note pls kill me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
