my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
