420 ftw
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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