maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
