wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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