Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
