you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
