i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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