4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
