hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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