Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
