i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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