Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
