My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
