Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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