Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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