Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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