I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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