Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
