Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
