Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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