is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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