What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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