cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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