Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
