# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
