no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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