I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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