I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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