Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
