At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
