youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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