Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
