all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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