dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
this is an emotional support booty call
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
