Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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