well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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