yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
