my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
