Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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