how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
