You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
